I'm pondering of things... i desire. Which is just being cut open by God. It's so freeing. Incredible amount of pain to be vulnreable and gross and yet still be loved. I'm not only thinking of the mental and methaphorical side of it. I am geniuenly thinking of what it would feel like if She slid Her hand under my skin, caressing my muscles and bones. Would I feel God's fingers on my ribcage? I know I'd probably be in a kind of pain where I wouldn't even be conscious probably. But the thought of Her fingers inside of my body excites me. The wonder of feeling Her hands peel my flesh away from bone... I want to be so helpless in God's grasp it's embarassing. I want Her to see every part of me and keep loving me.
Even after death. I don't mind if God were to take advantage of me; ripping me to pieces studying me, longing for the time my body was still warm, i don't feel a thing, but my soul still enjoys God taking pleasure in me even after death.
I enjoy thinking of such things from time to time...
Being loved and adored as my body rots and memories of me fade..... It's a kind of fucked up love i don't mind being on the receiving end.I always wake up the safe in the end.